Grace, Mercy, and Peace

Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love.

Grief is more than pain after loss.
Grief should be healing after loss.

HEALTHY RESPONSE

After the initial loss, you may find that it is helpful to engage in activities and behaviors that are a healthy response to loss.

Some people find comfort, healing, and hope in:

  • Private times of prayer

  • Meditation on Scripture

  • Spiritual journaling

  • Writing honor stories

  • Uplifting music listening

  • Creating music

  • Cooking for others

  • Writing poetry

  • Art appreciation

  • Art creation

  • Photography

  • Scrapbooking

  • Walking or exercise

  • Parks and nature

  • Talking with a friend

  • Talking with a pastor

  • Recording memories

  • Family and genealogy research

  • Bible studies

  • Prayer groups

  • Participation in worship services

  • Visiting a grave or memorial

  • Community service, volunteering to help others

  • Neighborhood conversations

  • Grief support groups

  • Organizing a family gathering (with food)

  • Helping someone in need, generosity

  • Travel

  • many more...

HELPFUL SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPLES

"...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. [Philippians 4:6-9]

  • Reduce anxiety through prayer.

  • Develop a thankful heart.

  • God's peace is independent of circumstances.

  • God's peace protects your heart and mind.

  • Train yourself to think honorably.

  • Practice healthy habits until they become your own.

Healing through grief is restoration of stability, not restoration to a previous state

Life requires stability. All living things change. Change always creates stress. Homeostasis is the process of maintaining a steady internal equilibrium which is required for survival during the stress of a living system. Living things are constantly changing, growing, interacting with their environment, encountering adverse conditions. The stressors of change will destroy a living system if the system does not have a mechanism that will restore stability to the system. Living things are resilient, that is, they possess such restorative functions designed to bring the system back into balance.

I believe that God provides each of us with restorative functions for the emotional and spiritual stress that comes from loss. The heart of God has a plan for hope and a future. We cannot return to the time before the loss. We can maintain loving memories of the time before the loss. However, we can find new strength and new stability in resilience and flexibility as we move forward.

Look for opportunities for experience restoration of stability. You may find them in family, in your community of faith, in your social contacts. You may find them in healthy behaviors. You may find them in activities that honor the memory of your loved ones. Be resilient: bend, don't break.

We will never go back to how it was before the loss, but we can move forward toward a future with stability.